Do We Get What We Desire? A Quantum Truth

I recently listened to a podcast where the guest shared something that’s been echoing in my heart ever since:You get the birth you desire.

Not necessarily the one you planned.

Not necessarily the one your mind wanted.

But the one your soul desired, at a deeper level.

Including in the case of birth trauma…

That phrase landed like a little earthquake in my body.

Because if it is true in birth…something I'm still grappling with. Is it also true in life?

When I reflect on the most difficult moments in my life—the ones that shook me, stretched me, or shattered parts of who I thought I was—I can feel it. Some deeper part of me did choose them. Not in a conscious, controlling way.

But in a way that says: “There’s something here for me. I want to grow.”

This idea is echoed in the framework of Conscious Leadership, which suggests that all people and circumstances in our lives are allies are perfectly suited to helps us learn the most important things for our growth.

Even the hard ones.

Especially the hard ones.

But here’s the tension: when truly painful things happen—when we’re faced with trauma, injustice, loss—can we still say they were desired?

This is where I turn to what I call a quantum truth.

A new term I created to rectify the paradox.

Like quantum mechanics, it applies in one realm but breaks down in another. A quantum truth doesn’t always make sense from a surface perspective. It’s not a truth that can be wielded lightly or applied universally, because it can easily become distorted:

You created this. You wanted this. It’s your fault.

No. That’s not the point.

The quantum view is subtler. It acknowledges that what’s true on a soul level isn’t always visible to the conscious mind. That we may choose certain experiences not to be punished—but to become.

We may call in discomfort because we long to become more present.

We may choose separation because our soul wants to understand union.

We may experience limitation because we’re here to remember our creative power.

And there’s another layer: the difference between what the mind thinks it wants and what the soul truly desires.

Podcaster and inner voice coach Bella Lively shares a powerful story about this. After attending a Joe Dispenza workshop, she decided to try healing her eyesight “miraculously” like others had done—choosing not to wear glasses despite a -4 prescription. Her intention was pure, but over time, her inner voice gently revealed that this wasn’t the goal.

Her mind wanted 20/20 eyesight.

Her soul wanted to her slow down. To feel. To learn to perceive energetics beyond the physical.

Later, she did get eye surgery—but by then, she had already received what her soul was asking for -- stronger inner sight.

Desire isn’t always what we think it is.

The desires that shape our lives—the ones that truly move mountains—often come from beneath the mind. They rise up from a deeper place within us. A place that’s not focused on comfort or ease, but on truth, expansion, and freedom.

And when we start to tune into those inner voice desires… we may begin to see our past, and our present, through new eyes.

The Gifts Hidden in the Hard

I have explored the idea that some of our life experiences—especially the difficult ones—may actually align with our deepest soul-level desires. Not because we want to suffer, but because our growth, healing, or awakening sometimes requires discomfort.

But what about the pain we didn’t consciously choose in the past?

What about the heartbreak, the illness, the financial hardship, the birth trauma, the grief?

This is where the path of integration begins.

In her quantum hypnosis work, Dolores Cannon would ask clients, regarding their challenges, a question that often brought startling insight:

“How does this serve you?”

It wasn’t meant to be dismissive. It wasn’t about blame. It was a door. A question that allowed the client to explore what, if anything, they were receiving from the challenge they were living through.

Seeing the hidden gifts

Let’s be clear: this isn’t about pretending that pain is pleasant, or that all suffering is somehow noble. This is about reclaiming power and perspective in places where we may feel lost, stuck, or victimized.

For example:

💸 Tight budgets may offer us:

• The ability to budget and make aligned choices

• A move toward sustainability (buying used, creating less waste)

• Creative problem-solving and resilience

• Empathy for others in difficult financial positions

• A deeper desire to change the economic systems we live in

  
  

🤍 Birth trauma may offer us:

• A deeper understanding of our body’s healing capacities

• Greater compassion for other women and their stories

• A clearer view of the medical system and our choices

• Motivation to take responsibility and do things differently next time

• A reclamation of our voice, power, and agency

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These reflections are not about minimizing the pain.They’re about creating space for healing to happen through perspective.

The role of the subconscious

In my QHHT sessions, I often witness how the subconscious—or what some might call the inner voice or higher self—will gently reveal the hidden motivations or learnings beneath a difficult experience.

One client who had been seeking a partner for months realized that her heart still held an unconscious fear: If I love deeply, I might lose again.

That fear had become a wall. Her mind wanted love.

But her deeper self wasn’t ready—yet.

Seeing that clearly helped her feel more compassionate toward herself… and more empowered to choose differently.

Sometimes we are holding on to pain because we’re also holding on to the benefits that came with it: the rest, the attention, the permission to pause, the deep reflection.

If we truly want change, we must be willing to let go of what our pain has been giving us.

Integration doesn’t mean approval. It means wholeness.

To integrate an experience is not to say, “This was good.” It’s to say, “This is part of me now. And I can carry it with wisdom instead of shame.”

Integration invites us to honor what we’ve lived, harvest the lessons, and move forward more awake.

If you’re in a season of life where you’re trying to make sense of something hard, trying to change certain patterns or perspectives—whether it’s recent or long past—I want you to know: 

There may be gold in the rubble. 

And you don’t have to dig alone.

💌 I offer gentle, guided meditation sessions to explore the deeper storylines beneath your current challenges, guided by your own higher wisdom.