Feminist conspiracy
They told me
I could be
Independent
And free
A woman of success
If I had a job and a degree
They forgot to mention
The ultimate cost
Would not be tuition
But hours lost
With my children
While they receive
Government !nd0(trinat!0n/education
- Emilie Alexina
I know this won’t resonate with all women and mothers. I see you, I honour your work with the resources you have. There are infinite paths of womanhood, motherhood and parenting and many can lead to raising thriving human beings as different as they may be. This is my experience and I share because it may put words to others’ inner feelings.
For me, it was a hard realization when I had my first child almost 10 years ago: I had a very strong feeling that I did not want to “put her in daycare and go work” as I thought was expected of me in my culture. This, and the fact that I was exhilarated by my “natural” birth with midwives rather than traumatized as I had been warned I would be for this crazy choice, flipped my world upside down at 25.
What other truths were hiding behind the surface of society?
That was the beginning of my deep transformation and search for truth which has led me to hidden magic in human experience. Part of this has been choosing to be a leader and orchestrator of our children’s education…and actively creating a life that makes it possible.
It is not an easy path. It takes tremendous courage, discipline, motivation and maybe naivety to start on this path. It is perhaps not the best path for everyone. Truly, it may not even be accessible to everyone. I deeply feel for the parents who would like to remove their children from school and don’t have the resources to do so.
I’m having big emotions come up as I return to some self development practices 2 yrs after the birth of our son. I’m also slightly burned out from what I’m trying to achieve. It’s not all roses and butterflies for many families as Instagram would have you believe, I perhaps am guilty of this too. For every inspiring homeschooling account, there are likely thousands of families who are having a hard time on this path. But they are going forward, learning and growing and doing their best for their children.
I feel the anger of being lied to. Anger towards our culture that has normalized the separation of children from their families at such a young age.
Anger that there is little culture holding me and other similar families in the work that we are doing. I have help from family and still it is so intense!
Anger that girls with academic talent are pushed towards career success or other “equally notable” avenues without ANY preparation for motherhood…other than “make sure you don’t get pregnant bc that’s the worst that could happen to you”. This was my experience.
Anger that some communities do prepare women for motherhood but these are often religious and have problems of their own!
If you’re interested in voicing your feels in an intimate 2 hr call with other mothers next Thursday evening, dm me for more info. We will give space to all the feels especially anger and discuss ways to transmute them so that we can use the energy for action and not self destruction. We will also discuss ways to change our habits and perspectives for more peace within and in our homes. See bio for more info!
Feel free to comment any thoughts this brings up 🔥
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